QoD MDE On the Dangers of the Pornoscanners

Myself (the remarkable Morgan Drake Eckstein) on the dangers of radiation from the full-body scanners (pornoscanners) used at the airport:

The government is keeping us safe from terrorists by turning us into glow-in-the-dark cancerous blobs. Makes sense---you cannot get killed by a terrorist if you are already dead.

Show us your weiner!

This card is inspired by Representative Anthony Weiner, who decided to show his weiner to someone. The mechanics of the card are also influenced by what was perhaps the funniest set of Magic the Gathering cards of all time---Unglued. The Unglued set was designed for the causal gamer, those who were more interested in interacting with their friends and having a good time than they were in building the ultimate tournament deck. Due to the potential disruptive nature of this card, you are only allowed to have one in your deck, and it is removed from play as soon as it resolves. Show us your Weiner! is an instant that costs either one white mana or one red mana. The effect is (definitely inspired by the Unglued MTG set) any player that has a picture of a hot dog that they have eaten can show it to the other players and gain ten life. To make sure players are just googling the internet for pictures of hot dogs, the player must be visible in the picture, without any doubt of their indentity. (No excuses about not knowing if the picture is of you. Also no fair dressing up your dog in a weiner costume---really people, is this why you have pets?) To make things really interesting, you can only use the same picture in a twenty-four hour period. This card, if it was real, but it is not (remember that this is Magic the Gathering NOT!?)---would create a few rule arguments...which I leave to those who like to argue about such things. For instance, does a tofu sausage count as a hot dog? Does the hot dog have to be clearly visible? Or can the chili completely cover it? For the flavor text, I chose a quote by a television character, Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)---"I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there." Sure, the quote is about steak, but the principle is the same---take a lot of pictures of your meat and share them with your friends. Weiner jokes just write themselves, don't they? Now if only Anthony had some witty to say to get himself out of the pickle that he put himself in.

Thulhu the thing on Trumps Head for President in 2012

Ok, I realize that Donald Trump decided not to run, but this was just too good of an idea to toss into the "too late to do" waste basket. The idea for this piece of artwork came to me on Facebook a few weeks ago (about a week before Trump decided that he would rather remain out of the Presidential race) when a friend posted something about the man (I think it was Trump questioning how Obama got into the college he did)---my response was that I would rather vote for the thing on Trump's head than the man himself. And as I hit post, this image popped into my head. It is kinda slimy, like something that H.P. Lovecraft might have included in his Cthulhu fiction. I used a section of this art in part of the on-going series of Magic the Gathering NOT joke cards that I am posting on my Gleamings from the Golden Dawn blog. Now, don't get me wrong: I like Trump the business man (or at least I admire part of his skill set), but I would rather not vote for him to be the leader of the Free World (he might sell it to the highest bidder---himself). 

Sitting is killing you

Via: Medical Billing And Coding

You already knew that your job that requires you to sit for eight hours or more at a time was killing you right? I bet you were blaming it on the stress; but no, it is actually the sitting. From beyond the grave, the inventor of the chair laughs---Bwahahaha!

Zombie Carla Madison

*My apologies and sympathy to the family of Carla Madison---I hope that you understand what I am trying to say here.*

We are on the tail-end of the spring election season here in Denver, Colorado. Most of the attention is on who will be elected the next mayor. But a certain amount of attention, at least in my neighborhood, is on who is going to become the next council member for District 8.

This attention is rather unexpected. But with the recent death of Carla Madison (who was a very delightful woman), there has been a gaggle of candiates all asking to be written in, so that they can replace her.

I am a happy little cynic. My proof? I still wanted to vote for Carla Madison. Even with her being dead, she is still a better candidate than some of the living ones that have asked for my vote.

Is it wrong to think that we would be better off with more zombies and resurrected mummies in office than living politicans? Probably. But can they do more wrong to us than the living politicans? I think not.

(And if any politicans in Denver see this, I have already voted---quit calling me to ask for my vote.)

QoD Lisa Weil on Education Cuts

We're glad the cuts to K-12 have gotten less disastrous, but let's be clear: they are still disastrous for Colorado's kids. If we are celebrating that we are making "only" a quarter billion dollars of cuts for the second year in a row, we've lost perspective.

        -----Lisa Weil, spokeswoman for Great Education Colorado

A triad of depressing economic numbers

Here is a triad of depressing economic numbers.

According to the Economic Policy Institute, almost 25 percent of U.S. households now have zero net worth or negative net worth. And the percentage is growing, it was only 18.6 percent in 2007.

Food and various products sizes are shrinking, so that manufactors and suppliers do not have to admit that they are actually raising prices on goods.

The purchasing power of the US dollar has declined from a dollar in 1913 to a whole 4.6 cents in 2009 (American Institute of Economic Research).


And if you want to read twenty-five more depressing economic numbers, check out this article on PrisonPlanet.