Thursday, March 16, 2017

A letter to Trump supporters (Ben Mallicote)

You voted for Trump because Clinton was going to be in Wall Street's pocket. Trump wants to repeal Dodd-Frank and eliminate the Fiduciary Rule, letting Wall Street return to its pre-2008 ways.

You voted for Trump because of Clinton's emails. The Trump
administration is running its own private email server.

You voted for Trump because you thought the Clinton Foundation was "pay for play." Trump has refused to wall off his businesses from his administration, and personally profits from payments from foreign governments.

You voted for Trump because of Clinton's role in Benghazi. Trump ordered the Yemen raid without adequate intel, and tweeted about "FAKE NEWS" while Americans died as a result of his carelessness.

You voted for Trump because Clinton didn't care about "the little guy." Trump's cabinet is full of billionaires, and he took away your health insurance so he could give them a multi-million-dollar tax break.

You voted for Trump because he was going to build a wall and Mexico was going to pay for it. American consumers will pay for the wall via import tariffs.

You voted for Trump because Clinton was going to get us into a war. Trump has provoked our enemies, alienated our allies, and given ISIS a decade's worth of recruiting material.

You voted for Trump because Clinton didn't have the stamina to do the job. Trump hung up on the Australian Prime Minister during a 5pm phone call because "it was at the end of a long day and he was tired and fatigue was setting in."

You voted for Trump because foreign leaders wouldn't "respect" Clinton. Foreign leaders, both friendly and hostile, are openly mocking Trump.

You voted for Trump because Clinton lies and "he tells it like it is." Trump and his administration lie with a regularity and brazenness that can only be described as shocking.

Let's be honest about what really happened.

The reality is that you voted for Trump because you got conned. Trump is a grifter and the American people were the mark. Now that you know the score, quit insisting the con-man is on your side.

Ben Mallicote

Monday, June 27, 2016

Trump redesigns the American flag

Oh say can you see by the glow of Trump's tan....
From the desk of the Greatest American President ever! (suck it Reagan):

Today, I give you the greatest flag in the world. It is a flag worthy of our great country, and symbolizes everything that makes America great. I designed this flag, especially for you America, because I am the best at designing flags. There is no one else in the world better at creating flags. I am the best at creating flags. And we needed a new one because the old one was designed by that fat cow, Betsy Ross, and it was a loser flag. This is a winner flag. The green stripes represent money because if you do not have money, you are not a winner. And we have so much money as a nation that we are winners. We are so winning, and have so much money, that we are tired of winning and having so much money. But what can you do? You can't give your money to poor people because they are losers, and you know that they are losers because they have no money. The black stripes represent black gold, which is better than gold gold, except for the golden signs that now decorate all the national monuments. As Americans, we send our troops everywhere to protect the precious black gold. We are so protective of black gold that we even use nukes to protect the black gold from the poor in other countries, and you know that they are losers because we nuked them to protect the black gold for the winners who have loads of black gold. The winners have so much black gold that they do not know what to do with it. And what can they do? They move here and they bring their black gold to us, and we win again. I am so sick and tired of all this winning that we are doing. And there are fifty stars that represent the fifty noble hatreds that makes America great. You know the fifty: hate those Mexican rapists and drugs, and Rosie McDonnell, and journalists, and lying Hillary, and crazy Bernie, and weak Jeb, and those militant Muslims, and Isis, I know so much about Isis, I know more about Isis than the CIA, the NSA, and all the generals in the military, and we hate them so much that we will nuke them wherever they are, if they come to New York, we will nuke New York. And the other fifty noble hatreds that Jesus trust us, and that the Supreme Court and Congress agree should be in the Constitution because I told them that they should be in the Constitution, and I am the greatest at the Constitution, I know exactly what should be in the Constitution. This flag is in the Constitution, you can look it up, along with every man, woman, and child having a gun, except for Muslims, and blacks, and the blacks are ok with it because I get along great with the blacks, the blacks love me, and the Mexicans, the Mexicans can't have guns because they are murderers and rapists. Oh, there are some good Mexicans, and they love this flag. I get along great with the American flag loving Mexicans, they love me. And there is a field of orange to remind us that our great nation, the most winning nation in the world, is founded on a great religion, a religion that I am great in, and in Cheeto-Jesus we trust---that and money and black oil. America--we are great again!!!

President-for-Life Donald Cheeto-Jesus Trump

Donald Trump--the cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon---the only candidate worse than Cthulhu and Killer Asteroid.

[Don't like the idea of a Trump Presidency? Join us on July 4th (worldwide) to bind and hex the cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon. Or better yet, vote for the other party!]

Support me on Patreon

If you love the work that I am doing, and you know that you do, you can now make a monthly donation to me on Patreon.

Patreon is a crowdfunding site where people make monthly donations to creative people (writers, artists, comedians, etc.) to help them make ends meet--because being creative is not the gold mine that certain people think it is. The number of creatives that make decent money doing art is less than one percent.

And yes, I know. No one should support my work because I spend too much time making fun of other people, and my artwork sucks, and my writing blows, and whatever else my critics say.

To my critics, I say--bite me!

There are rewards for supporting me on Patreon, including early access to projects that I am working on.

So for just a dollar a month, you can sponsor a lunatic--that would be me, Mad Uncle Morgan, and encourage me to continue doing what I do best. Thank you for your continued support. 

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Cthulhu Dagon 2016

Yes, I am still a Bernie supporter. Yes, I am still a nasty unwashed hippy. Yes, I know the truth of the numbers. Yes, I still want some of my concerns to actually make it onto the party platform. Yes, I still believe that both Trump and Hillary are both demonic. Yes, I still believe that we are better off voting for the lesser evil once we have absolutely no choice. And that is why I am going to vote for Cthulhu/Dagon in November.

Cthulhu/Dagon 2016---because Killer Asteroid is not running.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Custom made chalices

And now a word from my sponsor (aka my wife):

Here are some of the chalices that were made recently. There is a large variety of symbols that can be used: Templar cross, Wicca pentacle, triple moon, and horned god. There are also several scrolls that can be applied. We have a variety of glaze colors to choose from; all of them are food safe. The chalices are hand thrown, underglazed and fired, then overglazed and fired a second time. The whole process from start to finish takes seven to eight weeks.

If you are interested in ordering a custom made chalice, check out Khari's Wiccan Treasures on Etsy.

Templar cross blue chalice. 

Templar cross green chalice. 

Wiccan trimple moon pentacle green chalice. 

Here is the selection of glaze colors to choose from. 

Red and black horned god chalice.

Green triple moon chalice. 

Golden brown triple moon chalice. 

Red and black triple moon chalice. 

Blue and green pentacle chalice. 

Blue pentacle chalice. 

Thursday, December 24, 2015

How Trump can become President

Here is how Trump becomes President: 51% of the population embraces his special hatred of those they also hate while ignoring the fact that Trump also hates the 51% of the population voting for him.