Friday, November 25, 2011

Gas Mask for Christmas

I decided that I want a gas mask for Christmas. Correction---I need a gas mask for Christmas.

First, we had the police spraying down the protesters with pepper spray. It was only a matter of time before it got out of hand. But I wasn't terribly worried---I have been too busy to go near the protests.

Of course, I didn't realize that the next step in the pepper spray assaults would be against Christmas shoppers. By a Christmas shopper.

Last night, a woman decided to spray down her competition with pepper spray as she tried to get a discounted Xbox. That brings Black Friday mania to a whole new level. So to get a jump on my competition, I would like Santa Claus to give me a gas mask, some tear gas, and maybe a tactical nuke to use against my fellow Christmas shoppers next year. I promise to only use them for good---such as getting the best toys before orphans see them, things like that.

File this story under Only in America.
British Army General Service Gas Mask

Friday, November 18, 2011

So Jesus is actually a gun-toting Republican

I suppose that we should not be shocked at the revelation that White House shooter, Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez, says that he is a modern-day Jesus Christ. Nor should we be shocked that Oscar (Jesus) claims that Obama is the Anti-Christ. After all, the Republicans for years have been claiming Jesus is a gun-toting Republican who believes that all Democratic Presidents are the Anti-Christ. But I will admit that I am surprised that Nostradamus had to be the one to pass on the message to Oscar (Jesus). I am even more surprised by his mother claiming he has no history of mental illness.

What would Republican Jesus do?
Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez--yeah, he is Jesus all right.
Handy tip of the day--If your child buys an assault rifle, looks like Jesus Christ, reads old dead prophets (especially French ones), and thinks that Obama is the Anti-Christ, then he is a Republican.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Christmas sales as an economic indicator

One of the frustrating things about the so-called end of the Great Recession is the fact that the people who are recovering are not even remotely in my neighborhood. As most of my friends and regular readers know, I am a firm believer in developing one's own set of economic indicators---that way you don't have to rely on the boiled numbers that the government issues.

Here is a good indicator of the health of the economy: When did Christmas displays and music hit the stores? When did the merchants start slashing prices?

The earlier you see and hear Xmas stuff, the worst retailers believe the holiday shopping season is going to be. Of course, I believe that the stock holders are worried about their stock prices and dividends---and not in the least concerned about their employees---which means that even if consumers pony up money (from under what barrel I have no idea) and go hog-wild this shopping season, I am willing to bet that the money is going to stay in the pockets of the rich stockholders and not flow back to the rest of the economy.

The earlier you see price cutting (especially the fire sale level), the worst the holiday shopping is based on store reciepts. The fire sale level of prices indicate that a store is just trying to break even for the season, and that layoffs of regular employees is going to accompany the letting go of the seasonal help.

And this year is alarming on a couple of levels already. I saw Christmas stuff out before October 1st, and HR departments are actually hiring less seasonal help than normal.

Is it wrong to think that perhaps certain retail chains stockholders deserve a lump of coal for Christmas? Probably. We all know that only rich people can create jobs for the poor. *frowns*