Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Show us your weiner!

This card is inspired by Representative Anthony Weiner, who decided to show his weiner to someone. The mechanics of the card are also influenced by what was perhaps the funniest set of Magic the Gathering cards of all time---Unglued. The Unglued set was designed for the causal gamer, those who were more interested in interacting with their friends and having a good time than they were in building the ultimate tournament deck. Due to the potential disruptive nature of this card, you are only allowed to have one in your deck, and it is removed from play as soon as it resolves. Show us your Weiner! is an instant that costs either one white mana or one red mana. The effect is (definitely inspired by the Unglued MTG set) any player that has a picture of a hot dog that they have eaten can show it to the other players and gain ten life. To make sure players are just googling the internet for pictures of hot dogs, the player must be visible in the picture, without any doubt of their indentity. (No excuses about not knowing if the picture is of you. Also no fair dressing up your dog in a weiner costume---really people, is this why you have pets?) To make things really interesting, you can only use the same picture in a twenty-four hour period. This card, if it was real, but it is not (remember that this is Magic the Gathering NOT!?)---would create a few rule arguments...which I leave to those who like to argue about such things. For instance, does a tofu sausage count as a hot dog? Does the hot dog have to be clearly visible? Or can the chili completely cover it? For the flavor text, I chose a quote by a television character, Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)---"I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there." Sure, the quote is about steak, but the principle is the same---take a lot of pictures of your meat and share them with your friends. Weiner jokes just write themselves, don't they? Now if only Anthony had some witty to say to get himself out of the pickle that he put himself in.