Gas Mask for Christmas

I decided that I want a gas mask for Christmas. Correction---I need a gas mask for Christmas.

First, we had the police spraying down the protesters with pepper spray. It was only a matter of time before it got out of hand. But I wasn't terribly worried---I have been too busy to go near the protests.

Of course, I didn't realize that the next step in the pepper spray assaults would be against Christmas shoppers. By a Christmas shopper.

Last night, a woman decided to spray down her competition with pepper spray as she tried to get a discounted Xbox. That brings Black Friday mania to a whole new level. So to get a jump on my competition, I would like Santa Claus to give me a gas mask, some tear gas, and maybe a tactical nuke to use against my fellow Christmas shoppers next year. I promise to only use them for good---such as getting the best toys before orphans see them, things like that.

File this story under Only in America.

British Army General Service Gas Mask

So Jesus is actually a gun-toting Republican

I suppose that we should not be shocked at the revelation that White House shooter, Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez, says that he is a modern-day Jesus Christ. Nor should we be shocked that Oscar (Jesus) claims that Obama is the Anti-Christ. After all, the Republicans for years have been claiming Jesus is a gun-toting Republican who believes that all Democratic Presidents are the Anti-Christ. But I will admit that I am surprised that Nostradamus had to be the one to pass on the message to Oscar (Jesus). I am even more surprised by his mother claiming he has no history of mental illness.

What would Republican Jesus do?

Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez--yeah, he is Jesus all right.

Handy tip of the day--If your child buys an assault rifle, looks like Jesus Christ, reads old dead prophets (especially French ones), and thinks that Obama is the Anti-Christ, then he is a Republican.

Christmas sales as an economic indicator

One of the frustrating things about the so-called end of the Great Recession is the fact that the people who are recovering are not even remotely in my neighborhood. As most of my friends and regular readers know, I am a firm believer in developing one's own set of economic indicators---that way you don't have to rely on the boiled numbers that the government issues.

Here is a good indicator of the health of the economy: When did Christmas displays and music hit the stores? When did the merchants start slashing prices?

The earlier you see and hear Xmas stuff, the worst retailers believe the holiday shopping season is going to be. Of course, I believe that the stock holders are worried about their stock prices and dividends---and not in the least concerned about their employees---which means that even if consumers pony up money (from under what barrel I have no idea) and go hog-wild this shopping season, I am willing to bet that the money is going to stay in the pockets of the rich stockholders and not flow back to the rest of the economy.

The earlier you see price cutting (especially the fire sale level), the worst the holiday shopping is based on store reciepts. The fire sale level of prices indicate that a store is just trying to break even for the season, and that layoffs of regular employees is going to accompany the letting go of the seasonal help.

And this year is alarming on a couple of levels already. I saw Christmas stuff out before October 1st, and HR departments are actually hiring less seasonal help than normal.

Is it wrong to think that perhaps certain retail chains stockholders deserve a lump of coal for Christmas? Probably. We all know that only rich people can create jobs for the poor. *frowns*

American Capitalism: a Parable on how the system works

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese team won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the American rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 Steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant Superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.

---Author unknown

The American Scorecard so far

I am learning a lot this election cycle about what it is to be a "real" American.

First, I learned that this country was founded as a Christian nation, and that the Founding Fathers thought that you were not entitled to be a full American (with full legal protections) unless you were a Christian.

I also learned that I am poorly educated because this is not what I have been taught in college. And I am so poorly educated that I cannot find proof of this when I read the primary documents (their actual letters and essays), so I am forced to believe my professors when they say that the Founding Fathers were Deists.

And today, I learned that the Founding Fathers were also capitalists. I guess all the warnings about the evils of banks were planted by time-traveling Democrats.

Herman Cain, who is not going to get my vote, says that the current Wall Street protests are anti-American, and "to protest Wall Street and the bankers is saying that you're anti-capitalism."

Newt Gingrich, who is not going to get my vote, said that the protests are "a natural product of Obama's class warfare." Furthermore, the education system is to blame. "We have had a strain of hostility to free enterprise and frankly, a strain of hostility to classic America starting in our academic institutions and spreading across this country. And I regard the Wall Street protesters as a natural outcome of a bad education system teaching them really dumb ideas."

So lets' see, I am losing points for going to college, not being taught that America is a Christian nation, being a member of a non-Christian religion; and believing that despite the fact that I would like to become wealthy myself someday, that Wall Street and the banks went too far. Oh, and for believing that most of economic problems were actually created by the last President and not the current one.

I presume that I will be seeing some of my readers in Canada when I get deported for my unAmerican beliefs.

QoD Hitler and Christianity

Here is a scary quote that someone posted on Facebook today:

"I am personally convinced of the great power and deep significance of Christianity, and I won't allow any other religion to be promoted."

— Adolf Hitler

I have no idea what context this statement came from. Nevertheless, I would hate for my religion to be look on favorably by Adolf Hitler.

QoD Rufus Opus on what Christians are not here to do

"And Christians aren't here to run for political office. They aren't here to establish the Law of Moses as the Law of the Land. They aren't here to picket abortion clinics. They aren't here to deny gay couples the right to marriage. They aren't here to meddle in the things of the world."---Rufus Opus

The rest of Rufus Opus's post about what Christians are supposed to be doing can be found here.