How about actually washing some dirty dishes?

Paul Ryan pretending to work in a soup kitchen.

As many of my readers know, I spent twenty years in the restaurant business--much of that time was spent washing dishes. Not pretending to wash dishes, like Paul Ryan did in a recent photo op.

Now, I realize that politicians pretend to care for the less fortunate, and to be regular joes who understand your pain, all the time. The Democrats are as guilty of the Republicans are--they are not regular joes; they are not our co-workers and drinking buddies.

Still, pretending to wash dishes? And then claiming that it was to draw attention to the work that a soup kitchen does. Really? You expect us to believe that you were trying to help out?

The Romney/Ryan ticket are really annoying me as a former restaurant employee and manager. First the Romney campaign gets upset at one restaurant owner for not allowing them to eat there, with the result being that death threats were made to the owner of the restaurant (just because someone shares your religion does not mean that they want to be seen endorsing you). And now, Ryan is annoying people by pretending to wash dishes.

Tell you what. Come to my house and wash some actual dirty dishes. Or the house of any random American. There are a ton of dirty dishes to be washed in this county. In fact, we will allow you to take before and after pictures. But do not tell us how this proves that you are just like us, and have our best interests at heart. We know better because we know that you never have to clean up after yourselves ever--you hire people like us to wash your dirty dishes. And we know that you do not actually go drinking with your help, or even care about them.

Yes, I am a happy cynic. A happy cynic who actually washes actual dirty dishes. For some reason, that makes me believe that I am more of a regular joe than Paul Ryan is.

Talk to my cat about your product and candidate

Please tell my cat all about your new product and/or political candidate.

Oh, how many more days until this election cycle is over--too many.

Last year at this time, I thought that I would be busy blogging about the latest election during this month. I did not realize that even I would be uninterested in the whole d*** thing.

Over the last past couple of weeks, I have been averaging a half dozen political calls a day. It has gotten to the point that I am not answering the phone if I do not see an actual name on the caller ID.

And I am on the verge of handing the phone to my cat--maybe he can summon up more interest in this election than I have been able to.

For the record, I have known for months who I am voting for...I think that most of my Facebook friends have figured it out also. So let's just vote today, and save ourselves a few weeks of pointless political ads and phone calls. If not, a lot of people are going to end up talking to my cat.

Free for today only

Shakespeare's Monkey

Today (well technically until Friday September 14, 2012), you can get a free copy of my ebook Shakespeare's Monkey when you enter coupon code EX49A at the checkout. Why free today? Well, one of the stories contained in this volume was based on 9/11--apologizes to the dozen people that I blended together to create the characters (it was creative license)--and today is as good of a day to share that piece of fiction as any other.

Why I am glad that I do not work at Chick-fil-A

Maybe I should quit feeding the cats Chick-fil-A.

As some of my readers may know, I spent twenty years working in food service before graduating from college and becoming a full-time writer and general publishing jack-of-all-trades. Because of this, I have thoughts about the whole Chick-fil-A mess.

The first of which is that if I was still attending the University of Colorado on the Denver campus, and still going to classes in the North classroom, I would probably still be eating Chick-fil-A...merely because it would be a matter of convenience and because I know who is going to be hurt most by the protests.

The people who are going to get hurt most by the protests are the lowest paid employees. It is not going to be the managers and executives who suffer; it is going to be the poor people who make the food and serve the customers. I was a mamanger of a fast food restaurant, and I know exactly what happens when sales go down--you cut the hours of your employees to save on labor costs. Therefore, I am not sure if I would be completely comfortable protesting and boycotting the local Chick-fil-A.

The second thing I know is once you toss the convenience of a certain location (which employs college students) out the window is that I am not eating Chick-fil-A. Recently I had a couple of opportunities to eat at Chick-fil-A...and I didn't. Now, I am only one person, but I am sure that I am not alone.

But here is the deal: while I ate at other places, I do not know the political opinions of the owners of the places that I chose to eat at instead. For all I know, I may have been eating at a place ran by a bigger menace. Do you know the political opinion of the people who own the restaurant you eat the most at? It is not like it is generally known by your average customer.

The third thing I know is that I would be fired by Chick-fil-A if I worked for them. I am a supporter of gay marriage. I do not believe that gay people are the biggest hazard to marriage. Furthermore, I had a gay roommate for several years, and I had gay neighbors the entire time I have been living in Denver. Gay people are just a natural part of the world, and they deserve the same economic and emotionally benefits that straight people are entitled to. And yes, I would be vocal about my support of gay rights...therefore, I would be rapidly fired.

And the final thing I know is that the owner of Chick-fil-A is a fool. It is one thing to be a bigot, and proud of it. But it is another thing to let your customers learn that you are a bigot. It is bad business practice to let your customers know that you are a bigot. Anything that a corporation would fire a manager or executive over should not be openly done by the owner. And trust me if a store manager would have been outed as a bigot, and the owner was a closet bigot, the manager would have been fired in a heartbeat to soothe the rage of the customers, despite the fact that the owner was a closet bigot. The only reason that Chick-fil-A still has a problem is that it is the owner and not one of the employees.

QoD Jason Alexander on the purpose of an AR-15

Jason Alexander doing a TwitLonger on the Aurora theatre shooting:

What purpose does an AR-15 serve to a sportsman that a more standard hunting rifle does not serve? Let's see - does it fire more rounds without reload? Yes. Does it fire farther and more accurately? Yes. Does it accommodate a more lethal payload? Yes. So basically, the purpose of an assault style weapon is to kill more stuff, more fully, faster and from further away. To achieve maximum lethality.

Tea Party (Zealot's Dictionary)

Tea Party: The most rational part of the Republican Party. The Tea Party knows that Founding Fathers wanted only preachers of the correct faith to be politicians and bankers to be in control of the economy. The Tea Party knows that the rich really care about the poor and would never abuse their political position to increase their own wealth at the expense of the poor. Their views that the poor are lazy, and that immigration and witchcraft are the sources of all evil are absolutely correct. Their section of the Republican Party is named after a sex act that elevates their sexual partners to the most sublime and spiritual potential possible. The Tea Party has voted to ban the development of time machines, abolish the study of history and mathematics, and to allow an asteroid to crash into the Earth; after all, they already have their first class ticket to heaven where the rich will definitely not use them for riding around on.

[All the Zealot's Dictionary definitions are available in a single ebook on Smashwords--just 99 cents. Remember if you buy it on Smashwords, you get access to all future expansions...because we know that new definitions are sure to happen simply because of human nature.]

Cost of textbooks and iPads in classrooms

Here is an interesting chart comparing the cost of using textbooks in classrooms versus using iPads. Bottom line: it is still cheaper to use textbooks.
Created by: OnlineTeachingDegree.com